Feeling Your Feelings

I'm reading a series of books channeled by Ceanne DeRohan about consciousness. They are a detailed description of what God the Father has gone through in His process of becoming Self-conscious. I am amazed at how relevant God's thoughts and feelings are to human thoughts and feelings. In fact, this is why DeRohan is providing this information to us. Our every thought and feeling originated in the experience of God becoming conscious of Himself. We are not the first ever to experience what we experience. God experienced it first!

According to DeRohan, as Godness divided into two--The Father and The Mother--light/thought/electricity and love/feeling/magnetism--further thoughts and feelings became possible. When the Masculine Divine and the Feminine Divine interacted, a third force was born--The Son or Heart. And when all three of these forces interacted, a fourth force--The Father Creator--was born, the Body through which the three could manifest. The interactions of these four consciousnesses produced all the realms of angels, and each being which emerged containing its portion of God essence began its own journey toward Self-consciousness.

In my socialization, I was raised in a Christian tradition where Truth is presented to you and you either accept it and know you will go to heaven when you die or reject it and know you will go to hell when you die. No one said there may be numerous ways to understand religious teachings. I was taught many paradoxes. God is love unless you do what He hates, whereupon He will strike you dead with lightning. Being "bad" makes God and Santa Claus unhappy and you will be punished by being spanked or not getting the toys you want at Christmastime. Being "good" means you can't express what you are really feeling, so you stuff it down inside of you, where you feel guilty everytime you feel that feeling.

In DeRohan's books, guilt is the "original sin", the original separator of a being from its consciousness of oneness with God the Father, God the Mother, God the Heart, and God the Body. Wherever guilt arose, consciousness could not evolve. Guilt was a paralyzer, darkness/nothingness. Lucifer was a creation of light without heart. Lucifer perpetuated guilt. And guilt stopped a being from expressing true feelings.

Even today we hold our feelings inside and repress them and feel guilty and wonder how moving forward can be so difficult. DeRohan says we participate in the evolution of consciousness by coming to balance within ourself, learning to express our feelings authentically. Because we have allowed Lucifer/guilt to hold our feelings prisoner, we do not have full access to God's light. 

DeRohan talks about the gap of terror that every being has experienced in its creation/birth of consciousness. This is the terror of feeling one's separateness from oneness, like completing the typing of a doctoral thesis on your computer and then hitting the delete key by mistake, irrevocably separating you from what you value. In this gap of terror, guilt hides every feeling you repress. No one wants to have to look for their repressed feelings in this place.   

Yet, the only way for our consciousness to expand is by feeling our true feelings, going into the terror to retrieve true feelings from the heartlessness of guilt. By feeling our true feelings and expressing them safely, we move out of the darkness/nothingness and open ourselves to God's light. And God's light is what lights our path toward Self-consciousness.

I want to evolve in consciousness. Therefore, I want to retrieve my true feelings from my gap of terror, eliminating my guilt and opening myself to receiving God's light. I am practicing feeling my feelings and expressing them safely. I am willing to re-experience the terror of separation, having faith that I will be reconnected with God's light. (I am not talking about death here. I am talking about the courage it takes to feel one's true feelings about life!) When this occurs, will I remember and be able to retype my doctoral thesis?  

I'm thinking that I'll know that God has been aware of my every word.